I get asked all the time: Why do you stay Christian?
Well, the simple answer is, I grew up in a Christian context. My earliest memories involve the church. I learned about God and Jesus before I learned almost anything. My earliest memories of love, fellowship, community and food are all inextricably tied up in the Christian church.
I make a portion of my income as someone who is an ordained minister in a Christian tradition, and most of my platform, such as it is, was developed because of work I did and do in Christian contexts. Even much of my secular work (such as my weekly newsletter) is heavily informed by my Christianity, so it is implicitly there, even if not explicitly named.
And yet.
I’ve loved people who have harmed themselves because of things the people who claimed to love them learned and taught in Christian churches. I know people who became unhoused because of the Christian church. I have heard the first-hand stories of physical, mental, sexual and spiritual abuse that people have received at the hands of those on the payroll of Christian churches.
How do I reconcile all that?
Penitently, if I’m honest. I’ve carved out a little niche of being a pastor-type person for folks who can’t stomach religion anymore, because they know those stories too. And for years, I have used this to somewhat salve my conscience, telling myself that if I intended to stay in the Christian church, I have an obligation to help it clean up its messes.
I still believe that. But it’s not enough. So now I’m going to tell you about another thing I do.
My friends at Into Account do the hard, necessary, thankless work of providing support for survivors of religious trauma – they work to provide justice and care for folks who have been physically, sexually, and emotionally abused in religious contexts. They also work to provide accountability and justice for victims to keep these things from happening again. They are not faith based, but religion informed. I think of them as saints. They are my heroes, truth be told.
They are also too Queer, too feminist, and too truthful to get much funding from Christian sources. But because they choose to work in religious contexts, they also miss out on a lot of secular funding.
As a (very) small form of reparations, I donate 1% of all the money I make that is informed by, or made possible by, my Christianity. This includes my membership program, the honorariums I get for weddings, funerals, and preaching supply fees I may earn.
It’s not a fortune. But it will be regular, recurring income to an organization that is cleaning up messes made by the system I grew up in, love, and have profited from.
To be clear: It’s not enough. The primary reason I stay in this system is to work to change it. But until that happens, the work of Into Account is essential, and they both convict and inspire me.
One last thing: If you, too, find yourself trying to justify staying in a religious context, I encourage you to donate to Into Account, as well as doing the necessary work of making meaningful, systemic changes in your context.
Their donation page is here.